Context

Over the past two years, I convinced myself that every spare hour had to be productive. If I wasn't revising, I should be building Crestr. If I wasn't building Crestr, I should be learning something new.

That mindset helped me achieve a lot, but it also came with costs that I didn't fully appreciate until much later.

My Fitness

Before my final year of sixth form (12th Grade), I ran three times a week. Running was my way of switching off. It helped me manage stress, stay active, and gave me an excuse to explore new places. The first few weeks had been difficult, as they always are, but eventually it became something I genuinely looked forward to.

That changed when I reached Year 13. Between Computer Science, Biology, and History, my workload increased dramatically. It wasn't unusual for me to stay up until 2 a.m, complete between 300 and 500 flashcards in a day, and repeat the same routine the following morning.

Eventually, there wasn't enough time, or more accurately, enough energy, for running, hiking, or the gym.

By the time my exams had finished, I'd gained around 10 kg. At first I saw it as a physical change, but looking back, it reflected something much bigger.

My Mental Health

As I stopped running, hiking, and going to the gym, my mental health gradually declined. The problem was that I didn't recognise it at the time. Instead, I convinced myself that I just needed to keep pushing until the exams were over.

Just one last flashcard, I'd tell myself after completing more than 500.

Just one last feature, after spending five hours working on Crestr.

Just one more revision session, after an entire day of studying.

Looking back, I realise I treated my mental health as something I could ignore temporarily, as if I could simply deal with it after the final exam. That wasn't what happened.

During the final week of exams, my motivation disappeared almost overnight. I didn't want to complete another flashcard, open VS Code, or study at all.

The lesson seems obvious now, but it certainly wasn't then. You can't neglect the things that keep you healthy and expect your output to stay the same.

An hour spent running or in the gym wouldn't have been wasted time. It probably would have made the hours I did spend studying far more productive.

Where That Leaves Me Now

For a long time, I treated exercise, rest, and time away from work as rewards I'd earn once everything else was finished.

The problem was that there was always one more exam, one more feature, or one more thing to learn.

University will bring a new set of challenges, and I don't expect the workload to get any lighter. What I do hope changes is how I approach it.

I still want to work hard. I still want to build ambitious projects. But I've realised that consistency doesn't come from squeezing every possible hour out of the day. It comes from protecting the habits that allow me to keep going in the first place.